


Bleed Like Me

by hannernanners93



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anorexia, Blood, Depression, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, Nightmares, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-07 22:09:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17968949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannernanners93/pseuds/hannernanners93
Summary: Riley, Maya, Farkle and Zay are all broken. When they end up in the same place, will they be able to fix each other? Or will they stay forever broken?*also on fanfiction.net*





	1. A little broken

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I want to warn you that this story includes self harm, eating disorders, drug use, death, and blood. and possibly some other stuff. i hope you like it though. and at first i wanted to make this a one-shot but i think i might actually keep it up. I'm not sure if i'll have any pairings or if i'll include smackle and lucas in this story. I tried to write for them, but the inspiration just wouldn't come. but it might at some point. anyway, as always leave kudos and reviews if you like and want more!

Riley looked at her reflection in the mirror. She had barely eaten anything in weeks, and her weight was steadily decreasing. She hated every inch of her body and lived by the mantra, “Hunger hurts, but starving works.” She felt as if she didn’t deserve food because she just wasn’t worth it, like she had never been worth it. Although she was never able to tell any of her friends, one of her Tumblr followers had sent her a link to a website about people starving themselves on purpose after they saw she had posted something about wanting to lose a little bit of weight. She looked through the pictures and at first, she was confused. “Why would people do this?” she thought to herself. But as the days went on, she kept coming back to the website. And slowly, but surely, she started to follow the advice the different people would leave on the website. It was like she was addicted to the thin bodies the website produced. And she was even more addicted to her empty stomach and the slowly decreasing number on the scale. Her friends had talked about how crazy her diet was that day, but she didn’t let those comments get to her. Because Riley would be the skinniest person she knew, no matter what it took. What she didn’t know was that her parents had noticed how ungodly skinny she had become and were growing more and more concerned by each day. And that was the day that they had had enough.

 

Maya sighed as she got home from school. She was pretty sure her mom was working a double shift today to earn some extra cash. She immediately went to her room and closed and locked her door. Then, she went to her underwear drawer and dug through it until she found it: her favorite razor blade. It was sharp enough that it still made her bleed a lot, and she kept it clean. It had been a long, stressful day at school. She had failed her math test and hated herself for it. She was a failure like she always knew she was. That’s why her dad left her. That’s why her mom was never home. That’s why all her friends seemed distant lately. She was a miserable failure and no one would ever love her. So she grabbed her razor blade, sat down on her bed, rolled up her sleeve, and dug the blade into her skin. Not just once or twice, but five times. Pretty soon, breathed a sigh of relief at the site of the blood as it trickled down her arm. She started to feel her eyes flutter. And soon, she was passed out on her bed, blood pouring out of her arm, not hearing her mother scream her name as she came in the door.

 

Farkle had started to have nightmares again. An old man was coming into his room and touching him and he would wake up in a cold sweat before anything that bad happened. These dreams were becoming too much so he decided to start taking an extra pain killer his mom had from back surgery. The pills ran out soon enough though, so he started to find people selling the pills he liked after school in the back alleys. After a while, he became addicted to them, and if he didn’t have them, he would snap at people. He was becoming angrier and more petulant by the day. His parents were concerned about his behavior, but had no clue how bad it had gotten until one day his mother saw him snorting something on his desk. She told his father and that’s when they decided it was time to get their son the help he needed.

Zay had just learned his grandmother had passed. She had been sick for a while, and he knew it was coming. Still, it hurt him deep down inside. His grandmother had been his best friend since he was little. He loved her like a second mother and she loved him too. He started to drink to numb the pain. What started out as drinking every weekend at parties turned into coming into school wasted every other day. One day, it wasn’t even 10 am, and he was so drunk, he passed out during gym class. He was taken to the nurse’s office, who called an ambulance to pump his stomach because he had alcohol poisoning. Upon arriving at the hospital, he woke up groggily, not realizing where he was. Soon, everything came crashing down and he saw the look his mother gave him. He knew that he was in for it, but before he could say anything, she said, “Don’t even start. Your father and I are very concerned about you. You’re going to an inpatient hospital.” Zay knew there was no point in fighting her on this. Because she would win. His mom always did.

The four teenagers actually had no clue the others existed, but because of the events that unfolded that day, they would soon not only learn each other’s names, but learn what caused them to all wind up in the same place.


	2. People Help The People

“Mom, Dad, I’m not sick! You can’t make me go to some freaking hospital!” Riley exclaimed.

“Honey, you’ve lost so much weight in the past month. You look like a skeleton and I’m terrified for you,” replied Topanga and Cory simply nodded, agreeing with her.

“This isn’t fair! I’m not sick!”

They were already in the car on the way to the hospital when they told Riley what was really happening. To get her to pack a bag for the hospital, they had lied and told her they were all going to spend the next week at Cory’s parents house. They had told her that her little brother, Auggie would be staying with Cory’s best friend, Shawn, for the weekend. However, when Riley noticed they weren’t heading in that direction, she spoke up, and found out the truth. She was livid.

“Riley, we are concerned about you. We care about you and we just want you to be okay, honey.” Cory turned from the passenger seat he was sitting in, and looked at his daughter with tears welling up in his eyes. This made Riley look down at her lap in shame. Had she really messed up that badly? She was just on a diet, wasn’t she?

Not even an hour later, Riley and her parents arrived Evergreen Inpatient Facility in Brooklyn, New York. It was around 10:30 am when they arrived and they went to the waiting room. It was a Saturday, a day which Riley would have normally spent playing outside with her friends or binge watching shows on her computer. But now she was in a hospital and was going to be forced to stay there after she saw the therapist, who would decide for sure if she needed to stay in the hospital.

Soon, her name was called by a nurse, and she was weighed backwards (something she had never had heard of being done), had her blood pressure and other vitals taken. Her parents didn’t go with her to have her vitals taken because the nurse told them it was probably better to give Riley a little privacy, that way she didn’t become too overwhelmed too quickly.

After Riley’s vitals were taken, the nurse went to get her parents, and she took them to a room that had a couple of diplomas on the wall, and a bookshelf with several books. There were also a couple of games, toys, and dolls. For sitting, there was a couch along with a couple of chairs in front of what she assumed was the therapist’s desk. This all overwhelmed her greatly, but she sat down, looking straight ahead at the wall.

“Dr. Wallace will be with you all shortly,”

Riley didn’t respond, but Topanga said, “Thank you Nurse Jackie.”

Riley had no desire to talk to this fucking therapist, but she definitely didn’t want to talk to whoever this guy was with her parents in the room.

Pretty soon, her nightmares started to come true, as a man with scruffy white hair, who was wearing a turtle-neck sweater and a pair of khaki pants, came in the room.

As he sat down at the desk, he looked at the pale brunette and said, “You must be Riley.”

“Yea, I am,” Riley mumbled.

“I’m Dr. Wallace Tee. It’s nice to meet you, Riley,” He said warmly. Then he asked, “Well, what brings you here?”

Riley just shrugged, so Topanga spoke up and said, “We don’t think she’s been eating. She’s lost a lot of weight and we’re very concerned, Doctor Tee.”

“Have you been eating, Riley?” The doctor asked.

Riley just shrugged and didn’t say anything.

“Would you feel better if we talked without your parents in here?” the doctor asked.

Cory and Topanga looked at each other sadly. They knew it probably would be best to leave Riley alone with the doctor. So, they got up and left the room.

After her parents had left the room, the doctor decided to try and ask again, “Have you been eating, Riley?”

Riley looked down at her lap and shook her head.

“How long has it been since you last ate at least 1200 calories in a day?”

“Over a month,” she barely whispered.

The doctor looked at her and nodded. Then he asked several other questions pertaining to her mental health, and she answered to the best of her ability. After he had finished asking the questions, he told the nurse to bring Cory and Topanga back into his office.

When they arrived back in the office, Dr. Tee announced, “It is my firm belief that Riley would greatly benefit from an inpatient psychiatric stay.” Then he looked at Riley and told her, “This isn’t fun to tell you, but it does explain a lot of your situation. You have anorexia.”

Riley looked down at her lap and felt tears fall down her cheeks. She knew her parents saw her crying, but she just didn’t care. She had screwed up.

Topanga looked at Riley and said, “Don’t you dare think we don’t love you. Because we do. We love you a lot and we want you to get better.”

Cory nodded in agreement and added, “You’re going to beat this, Riley. You’re too awesome not too.”

“I think it’s best we take Riley up to the adolescent unit as soon as possible,” the doctor said.

“Will my parents be able to come and visit me?” asked Riley.

“Yes, they can come during visiting hours, which are from 3-5 pm every day.”

“What about my little brother, Auggie?”  
“I’m sorry, but we can’t allow minors to visit a psychiatric unit.”

At this, Riley felt more tears well up in her eyes, but she wiped them away.  
“But you can talk to him on the phone,” The doctor told her, and then looked at Cory and said, “Mr. Matthews, can you go get your daughter’s bags? We are going to have to take them by the security office to make sure there’s nothing your daughter or anyone else can use to harm themselves in any way.”

“Yes, of course,” Cory told the doctor.

Soon, Cory was back inside with his daughter’s bag, and they all headed upstairs. It seemed like the officer took forever to check her bag. He removed strings from hoodies and sweatpants. The officer also took out the razor Riley had packed and a few other things. However, after that was done, they all went upstairs where Cory and Topanga helped Riley settle into a room she had by herself for now.

Soon after, her parents had to leave, but not without giving her what felt like a thousand hugs and kisses.

Riley sighed and sat down on the bed she would be sleeping in for the foreseeable future. She already missed her home, and was willing to do anything to go back.

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Maya woke up in the hospital and looked around her. There were stitches on her arm where she had cut too deep. She looked around and was shocked to see her mom at the side of her hospital bed, bowing her head and praying.

“Mom?” Maya questioned, “Where am I? What’s going on?”

“Sweetie, I got home and your door was locked and you weren’t answering and I was worried. So I picked your lock and you looked like you were passed out with blood pouring out of your wrists.”

“Oh...” said Maya, “Well, it’s no big deal. I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“Cut the crap,” Katy replied, “I found several razor blades hidden in your room and backpack.”

She then looked at her daughter with pleading eyes, “You have to stop, please.”

“I want to, mom. I just don’t know how...”

“Well, I think a therapist is going to come and talk to you to see if inpatient treatment might be what’s best.”

“What the hell, mom? I’m not crazy.”  
“I know sweetie, I know.” Katy went to kiss her daughter’s forehead, “But this might be what’s best for you. And I already packed a bag for you in case the doctor says that’s what would be best for you.”

Maya felt tears well up in her eyes as she saw what she assumed to be a look of disappointment on her mother’s face.

They stayed silent for a while, until they heard a knock on the door, and a woman with blonde hear wearing a suit walked in.

“Hello, My name is Dr. Penelope Greene.” the psychiatrist said as she walked towards the hospital bed, looking at Maya, “And you must be Maya.”

The blonde girl simply nodded and went to grab her mother’s hand. Upon feeling her mother squeeze her hand, she felt herself breathe a sigh of relief.

“Now, Maya, I’m here because I hear you’ve cut yourself. Is that right?”

Maya looked down and slightly nodded.

“Now, I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to see what the best course of action is for your situation and help you receive the help you need.”

“I never meant to cut that deep,” Maya responded, “It just...it makes me feel normal. It makes me feel better.”

Dr. Greene nodded and asked, “Do you often feel like your life is out of control?”

“Yes,” responded Maya, looking sullen.

“Have you, in the past three months, had feelings of worthlessness, or hopelessnesss?”

“Yes.”

“Do you ever feel like your life isn’t worth living?”

Maya looked over at her mother, who hadn’t left her side. She knew she had to tell the truth for her. So, she nodded her head.

“Have you, in the past three months, wanted to, and/or developed a plan to kill yourself?”

“No.”

“Why do you cut yourself, Maya?”

“I guess...I guess I just want control over my life. And I don’t want to die, but I also don’t really care if I die if that makes sense. Like I feel worthless, but I don’t want to actively kill myself. But if I died, I feel like it wouldn’t really matter.”

Dr. Greene looked at her, nodded and then said, “Well, Maya, I think it would be best if you spent some time in an inpatient hospital. There’s one near hear that accepts your insurance, and it’s called Evergreen Inpatient.”

Maya looked at her mom, who now had tears in her eyes and asked, “Are you going to be okay without me, mommy?”

“Baby, all I ever want is for you to be the best you can be. And right now, you’re not the best you can be because you’re hurting. And I’m not mad at you for hurting. I just want you to be okay.” Katy told her daughter as she tucked some of Maya’s hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek.

“So, I can go get the doctor to bring your mother the discharge paperwork, if that’s okay. And then your mother can take you to Evergreen Inpatient. I will also send over your paperwork, so that you don’t have to bother with intake there, since you already basically had it here.”

Maya simply nodded and before they knew it, they were headed to Evergreen Inpatient. She had no idea what to expect, but she did hope for the best. And hope was something Maya hadn’t had in a long time.

 

 

Farkle’s parents had just told him they were growing increasingly concerned about his drug abuse. He tried to deny he had a problem, but his mom gave him her “That’s bullshit” look.

“I just...I’ve been having some disturbing dreams recently and I just want them to stop.” Farkle told his parents.

“What kind of dreams?” Stuart Minkus looked at his son and asked, slightly disturbed.

“I..I would rather not talk about it,” replied Farkle, “Can we just pack so I can get to this inpatient facility?”

His parents both nodded and helped him finish packing.

A few hours later, they were on the way to Evergreen Inpatient. Farkle had heard of Inpatient hospitals before. But he always assumed they were for crazy people. He now realized how ignorant it had been for him to think like that.

When they arrived at Evergreen Inpatient, Farkle took his bag in, not accepting help from either one of his parents. As they sat in the waiting room, Farkle started to sweat and shake. He hadn’t had one of the pills since the night before.

It seemed to take forever for the nurse and the therapist to see him, but before he knew it, he was in the therapist’s office.

A doctor named Dr. Wallace Tee soon introduced himself and asked Farkle what brought him to the hospital.

“Well, I guess,” Farkle said with a shaky breath, looking at both his parents, “My parents are under the impression that I have a drug problem.”

“Do you think you have a drug problem?”

“I...I don’t know.”

“He’s been extremely irritable lately, doctor,” his mother told the doctor, “And the other night, I saw him snorting something on his desk. I don’t know what it was.”

“When my wife told me about that, I was obviously concerned,” Stuart Minkus said, “But what concerned me even more is the fact that my son told me earlier that he’s been having disturbing dreams...I just want to help my son.”

“That’s completely understandable, Mr. Minkus.” Dr. Tee replied, “What kind of dreams are disturbing you, Farkle?”

Farkle looked down at the ground and quietly said, “I would rather not discuss that at this time if that’s okay with you.”

The doctor nodded and asked the teen boy a few more questions. Then, he told the three of them that it would probably be best for Farkle to stay in the adolescent unit for at least a week.

“A week?” said Farkle, “I’ll miss school, I have so many assignments, sir.”

“Farkle,” his father replied, looking at his son with sad eyes, “This is what’s best for you. We will worry about school, later, okay? Right now, I just need you to focus on getting better.”

After that, they went to see the security guard who checked Farkle’s bag to make sure there weren’t any dangerous possessions in it. When the security guard finished and handed the bag back to Farkle, Dr. Tee and his parents went to the adolescent unit with him.

After helping their son get settled and telling him goodbye, Farkle’s parents left.

As his parents left, he felt himself let out a shaky breath. He wanted to be okay again, but he had no idea if that was possible. Hell, he had no idea if he ever had actually been okay, or if that was a foreign concept not known to people like him.

 

 

 

Unlike most kids his age, Zay didn’t argue with his mother when she told him she would be going to an inpatient hospital. He knew she was right and that he needed to quit drinking. The problem was, he just didn’t know how.

So after his mother told him where he would be going, he simply looked at her and said, “I’m sorry, mom. I love you and I feel like I’m messing everything up.”

“Isaiah Babineaux! I never want to hear you say such a thing again. You are hurting and you need help. But you’re not a burden. You never have been.” His mother told him, looking at him with nothing but concern and love in her eyes.

Zay just nodded and looked down at his knees. He knew a therapist would be in to talk to him soon about his drinking problem.

Soon, a nice-looking lady wearing a suit walked in. She introduced herself as Dr. Penelope Greene.

“I’m Zay and this is my mother,” Zay told her.

Dr. Greene nodded and said, “So you had to get your stomach pumped because you went to school drunk and had alcohol poisoning?”

“Yea, I guess you could say that.”

“Your mother told the doctor that you’ve been drinking a lot lately. Is that true?”

“I guess so...I mean, I know so. It just makes me feel better when nothing else does, I guess.”

The doctor looked at him and said, “Well, have you ever had the urge to hurt yourself or anyone else?”

“No,” responded Zay.

“Have you made a plan with intent to kill yourself in the past three months?”

“No.”

“Do you ever feel worthless or hopeless?”

Zay thought about that question for a minute. He wanted to tell this lady the truth, so he could get better for his mom, so he responded, “Yea, I guess I do sometimes.”

“How often do you drink?”

“Well, at first it was just every weekend, like a typical high school kid, I guess. But then I started to drink more and more, and it’s become almost like a daily thing for me.”

“Why did you start drinking more?”

Zay looked at his mom and asked, “Do you promise not to get mad?”

“Honey, I’ve already told you I’m not mad at you. I just want you to get better.”

“Well, my grandmother died about a month and a half ago. And I miss her. And I guess I just didn’t know how to deal with those feelings.”

The doctor nodded and said, “Well, based on your responses, I think it would be best to send you to an inpatient hospital. One near here that specializes in young people with mood and substance abuse disorders, is called Evergreen Inpatient.”

“I’ll go.” Zay said, without putting up a fight.

“Very well, I’ll go get your doctor to bring your mother the discharge papers. I will also send your paperwork to the hospital, so you don’t have to worry about doing intake when you get there.”

Not even an hour later, his mother had signed him out of the hospital and they were on the way to Evergreen Inpatient. Zay was silent the whole car ride there, looking out the car window at the beautiful blue sky. He felt his eyes brim with tears for the first time in a long time. He was going to be okay again one day, he just knew it.


End file.
